I can’t be that old…
I think I’m losing my hearing.
Earlier this week when I stopped for lunch, at the counter I ordered some chicken meal, and when the young woman behind the counter asked me something, I just stared at her blankly. I knew she had said something, as her mouth was moving, and I had heard something, but I didn’t know what. I took a stab at what I hoped she was asking:
“Breast, please.”
Staring back at me for a minute like I was some sort of idiot, she very slowly, and a little louder than I thought was necessary, repeated her request:
“DO YOU WANT A DRINK?”
I decided against trying to explain to her what I thought she said, and took the walk of shame to the soda fountain. It could have been worse. I mean, at least at a chicken place you can actually make that breast request and it won’t get you a face full of pepper spray or a ride in a squad car. When my order came up, the number was announced through the loudspeaker. It was the only time it was used while I was there, and the place was full of senior citizens.
Today, since it was the last day of my first week back at work after vacation, I decided to reward myself and stop for coffee at the local Starbucks. The real reason though was that we ran out of coffee at home, and there was no way I was going to make it through the morning without a little caffeinated pick-me-up. When I got up to the counter, I placed my order for the big cappuccino with extra shots, and while I was getting my money out, the cashier said something to me. Something which I, of course, missed. I didn’t feel too bad about this one, considering he was the first person I’d spoken to this morning, and I was really in a fog due to me not really being a “morning person.” However, being sleepy is no excuse for being an idiot. Obviously not having learned anything from the chicken episode, I took a shot at it:
“Um, no food for me today. Thanks.”
Again, a reasonable response seeing as how there’s always some sort of upsell going on. No, I don’t want a breakfast sandwich. I drink my breakfast, thank-you-very-much. Unfortunately, I was wrong again. Way off, it turns out. When I saw the puzzled look on his face and caught the smirk from the barista, I figured I answered the wrong question, so I tried to save face:
“Uh, ha ha, excuse me? I guess I didn’t hear what you asked.”
“I said ‘Nice shirt’. I used to have one like it.”
At least he didn’t shout it back in my face like that chicken lady.
I’m so telling the Colonel on her.
