FourBux

The purpose of life

This says it all.

My new life plan

I’ve been conducting a study. It may have begun as an impromptu way to pass the time, but over the years, it has become very deliberate and methodical. You have been part of this study, even though you didn’t realize it. Of course, perhaps you realized it as well and I’m not giving you enough credit. I mean there are certainly plenty of examples out there to prove that others have wanted out. Maybe you’re in that camp, too.

I’ve spent almost twenty years of my life on this issue, accrued mountains of data and poring through more statistics than you could shake a stick at, and at last, I have come to a conclusion.

I’ve decided that working every day is too much. Some people are okay with working their whole lives, but I just don’t think that’s for me. At 60-plus, both my parents are still pulling their own weight, and in the spirit of combining the “work smarter, not harder” and “do as I say, not as I do” life lessons they taught me, I’ve begun looking for a better way. And by better, I mean much more money for less work. And by less I mean hardly any at all.

What, you ask, is this golden ticket, this get out of jail free card that would free one from the constraints of the life of the working stiff? A trip to Las Vegas? Winning the lottery? Could be, but hardly a realistic plan. You see, gambling involves risk of losing, and to be honest, I like to play things safe. Plus, if you win the lottery you get your picture on TV and suddenly all those deadbeat people from your past that you thought you were rid of show up at your door.

No, thank you. I don’t talk to you any more for a reason.

Does it involve anything illegal? Of course not. I don’t want to work, and I’m pretty sure if I ended up in prison that there would be work of some type involved. There is nothing illegal, or even immoral about my newfound life plan.

Multi-level marketing? Ha, ha, no. Mostly because, well, unless you’re the first guy in you won’t make any money. I also would like people to like me when it’s all said and done. Plus, this is about making money, remember?

Sorry to Ryan Seacrest you, but I’ll tell you after the break.
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Yiel…yei…just try not to run over anyone

I really wish I could say this was a Photoshop job, but alas, it isn’t. These letters, in all their four-foot-tall backwards glory, grace a through way in the parking lot at my office.

If you notice the word “yield” is spelled correctly when coming from the other direction. So, either the painter knew one of these variations were correct and wanted to guarantee that at least one of them were right, or it was just an accident that will be corrected.

Either way, it makes me smile.

Cheers.

Career change? Reply hazy, ask again later.

Last week, on Friday night, I ended up in kind of a swanky downtown bar watching the Suns play the Celtics, killing time before a movie. And I’ve been chewing on the events of that night ever since.

On Friday evenings, my wife has an evening class that runs until about 10:00 p.m., so most Fridays I’m on my own for dinner. Last week though, there was a school event after the class so she was going to be even more late getting home. After working until about 8:00, I decided that I didn’t want to eat dinner in front of the television and go back into the office, so I decided to grab a bite out and hit a movie. Most people won’t eat a meal or go to a movie alone, but I don’t mind it so much. Business trips seem to have accustomed me to the practice. It seems to make others uncomfortable though, like I’d been stood up by a date. I had one couple ask me if I wanted to join them for dinner once, but the offer made me more uneasy than eating alone. I declined.

Anyway, back to Friday. I chose the movie “No Country for Old Men,” partially because of all the acclaim it garnered, but also because I’m a sucker for anything Tommy Lee Jones stars in. (“In the Valley of Elah” was another great picture, by the way. Saw that during my four-movies-in-24-hours marathon.) The movie started after 10:00 p.m. so I had some time to kill. Fast food would have been fine, but if I have 90 minutes to kill why would I eat someplace where I have my meal before I have my change?

At any rate, after driving around and mentally debating the places near the theater, I settled on a nice place I enjoy for lunch, but have never been alone during dinner. Since it is Friday night, the place is packed. The hostess tells me that I can have a seat at the bar, and I figure I can watch the Suns game while I eat, giving me something to do. Walking over to the bar, there’s one seat left, in between a group of loud women just getting their Friday night started and one guy dressed all in black sitting alone. Crap. You know that guy’s going to want to talk, and frankly, I’m just not in the mood. I tend to keep to myself anyway, but especially in bars. I walk back to the hostess desk and ask if the patio was open.

“No, there’s a seat there, I just saw it” she says, and takes me by the arm. Now that I’ve been forcibly escorted to the area and shown the chair as if I were a child, of course the solo guy saw me coming. As I sat down we exchanged the standard howzitgoin’ greeting, and glancing at his almost-clean plate I figured he’d be gone in a few minutes.

I order a beer, noticing it’s the only one on the bar. Everyone else has delicate glasses of wine. What can I say – I’m a rebel.

As soon as I order my meal, the guy beside me starts to make small talk, first about the Suns game, which now I can’t see or hear because a live jazz band set up in front of the TV. When did they get there? I didn’t want to be rude, but I was clearly not giving off the “tell me about your day” vibe, keeping it brief. Come to find out that we’re in the same field – graphic design – and that we know a few of the same people in the industry in town. Okay, so the basketball game was a wash, but at least the conversation is relevant. He works in one of the major ad agencies in town, and it turns out to be a place where I applied years ago right after college. Even though there was zero chance of getting on there, I was swinging for the fence!

He asks me if I got an interview or a call back, and I did, but had to chuckle when I told him that I was asked to come in for an interview for an accounting position. He was clearly not as amused by that as I was. From there I went on to do my own thing for almost 10 years. I recently ended up settling in with the company where I’m at now because of the benefits and steady paycheck. I didn’t tell him where I work, because the organization is large and I hate to complain about it when I don’t ever know who could overhear. So for now I work for a boring nameless company.

Then, completely out of the blue, he tells me that the position I now hold is one that his agency is weak in, and if I ever wanted to come in and show my portfolio he’d set it up. He gives me his business card and says to think about it. That’s when I recognize the name on the card.

This guy is the go-to person in said agency, the head honcho. And try as hard as I could to unconsciously sabotage that meeting, I end up sitting next to him and shooting the bull for over an hour, at the end of which he offers me the opportunity to come in and show him my book. It’s hard not to think that this is more than a coincidence, but that’s just me. There are designers who would give their arm for a meeting like this.

Finishing up, I pay my tab and get ready to go, and he asks me where I work. Begrudgingly I tell him that my company is one of the larger clients of his agency. He looks straight ahead and says “We never had this conversation. I didn’t give you my card, I have no idea where you got it.” He pauses, glances at the TV at the end of the bar and adds “But the offer still stands.”

Now can you see why this has been going through my mind all week. I still don’t know what I’m going to do about it, partially because I’ve gotten a little lazy in my cushy desk job, but also because it could end badly for all involved. The bad part is that the worst outcome could result if I actually landed the job. If I were hired, his agency runs the risk of losing our account because it will look like a headhunter maneuver. At the very least it would strain the relationship because I would be working with me current peers – only from the opposite side.

However, the agency work would be exciting, fast-paced, like my freelance business was, but with the security that comes from working with another large company. Of course we didn’t discuss any details such as salary or benefits, but I’m sure there at least as good as they are here and wouldn’t be surprised to find out they were much better. And I know the office is way cooler.

Now that I’ve noodled on it for almost a week, I’m still torn. Anyone feel like chiming in?

Quota exceeded

Give me a break.

Came in today to this little gem of an email:

Hello,

At the last staff meeting last week, (our manager) asked everyone to clean up their office by the end of March, and to asked us to tell our staffs to do the same.

Please make an effort to tidy up by the end of March as requested. Doing so will make the document management process easier when we get to paper files later in the year.

If you need any filing tools or desk accessories to help you do the job, please let me know.

Give me a break. My office isn’t a pig sty by any stretch but it is certainly more cluttered than the manager’s offices. Know why?

Because I actually do work in it.