It’s easier in Britain because we walk about more. The ones I spoke to in London said being ignored was the hardest part, they knew it was because people were embarrassed, that it was easier to ignore them than say “no” when they asked for money but it made them feel invisible, inhuman.

The guy at the on-ramp probably valued the drinks, the hand shakes and the conversation far more than he valued the cash you initially gave him.

I used to stop and talk to the ones I saw in London. I reckoned all I could give was time and a chance to talk to somebody who would treat them like a human being. So that’s what I did. Even now if they’re asking for money or trying to sell the Big Issue and I don’t want to give any I still try to look them in the eye, smile apologetically and say no rather than say nothing.

I leave you with a statistic I was told back in the early 90s.

In 1986 20% of the homeless in London were mentally ill. By 1990, 80% of them were. If they have no family and no one to look after them they fall through the net… pretty much every time.

It’s grim and I wish I knew what the solution was. Food for thought I guess…

Cheers

BC

I think that at first, people may be embarrassed for being on the street, having to ask for help, etc, and a hope to be ignored would certainly be a part of that. Shoot, if I spill soup on my pants I hope to be ignored, at least for the rest of the day. If I had to sleep in a box and push my belongings around in a broken shopping cart I’d wish for invisibility too, at least for a while.

That said, at some point, people will still want to be treated like people. To be acknowledged, spoken to, to make eye contact with someone else. To be afforded even the most basic dignity that comes with not being an animal.

The tough part for me is keeping that in the back of my mind when I pull up to the red light. I try to acknowledge the person standing there, but I don’t necessarily want to give money. However, any sort of recognition on my part is always taken as an invitation to approach, if they’re not already standing at the window. The way around this, unfortunately, is to ignore them. That way, I don’t feel obligated to give when all I was really committing to was a “hello.”

I would think that after a while the need to be acknowledged would be greater than the drive to shake fifty cents out of someone.

Back when we used to live downtown, there was a guy who was at the freeway on-ramp every morning, without fail. He worked the right side of the road, and since I was always turning right onto the highway at that point it was unavoidable. At first I would give him change out of my ashtray, but then I started bring cold bottles of water with me, or a soda, and soon I got to the point I could just pull up and shake his hand and ask him how he was doing. There may have been some expectation of money on his part, but I think that he was just happy to have someone to talk to who wasn’t in his same situation.

I hope she’s safe and warm tonight.

Keep on writing.