FourBux

The purpose of life

This says it all.

My new life plan

I’ve been conducting a study. It may have begun as an impromptu way to pass the time, but over the years, it has become very deliberate and methodical. You have been part of this study, even though you didn’t realize it. Of course, perhaps you realized it as well and I’m not giving you enough credit. I mean there are certainly plenty of examples out there to prove that others have wanted out. Maybe you’re in that camp, too.

I’ve spent almost twenty years of my life on this issue, accrued mountains of data and poring through more statistics than you could shake a stick at, and at last, I have come to a conclusion.

I’ve decided that working every day is too much. Some people are okay with working their whole lives, but I just don’t think that’s for me. At 60-plus, both my parents are still pulling their own weight, and in the spirit of combining the “work smarter, not harder” and “do as I say, not as I do” life lessons they taught me, I’ve begun looking for a better way. And by better, I mean much more money for less work. And by less I mean hardly any at all.

What, you ask, is this golden ticket, this get out of jail free card that would free one from the constraints of the life of the working stiff? A trip to Las Vegas? Winning the lottery? Could be, but hardly a realistic plan. You see, gambling involves risk of losing, and to be honest, I like to play things safe. Plus, if you win the lottery you get your picture on TV and suddenly all those deadbeat people from your past that you thought you were rid of show up at your door.

No, thank you. I don’t talk to you any more for a reason.

Does it involve anything illegal? Of course not. I don’t want to work, and I’m pretty sure if I ended up in prison that there would be work of some type involved. There is nothing illegal, or even immoral about my newfound life plan.

Multi-level marketing? Ha, ha, no. Mostly because, well, unless you’re the first guy in you won’t make any money. I also would like people to like me when it’s all said and done. Plus, this is about making money, remember?

Sorry to Ryan Seacrest you, but I’ll tell you after the break.
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Bachelorism: whatever

My grand experiment has failed.

Maybe not a total failure, but after three days of being on my own, it occurred to me: of course I can survive. Sure, my life is a little boring, but so what? Maybe if this state of bachelorhood were permanent, it would facilitate some more action on my part, but since it’s only temporary, I can float through it. May as well enjoy it.

And since I don’t think I want to write about cleaning the bathroom any more than you would want to read about it (and probably by a large margin), unless something interesting happens I think I’m done. At least with the play by play.

I mean, that’s what Twitter’s for, right?

So, until you hear differently, just imagine that I’m surfing the internet while watching TV while eating foods that may not be good for me while drinking more than I should andgetting less sleep than I need.

Unless I’m at work, where I can’t watch TV.

Cheers.

Postcard design

I came across this postcard we created for an accident-prone colleague. Just before she left on a ski vacation, we mailed this to her, and on the back included an RSVP form for the hospital in Colorado Springs.

The beautiful thing was I never told her it was me.

I jest because I care.

Bachelorism - Day Two

Well, the second day on my own was Monday, and to be honest, the wife and I don’t see eachother too much during the week as it is. Mondays she typically has an evening class, so the only difference was there was nobody to vent to at the end of the day.

Beside the faceless internet, of course, so thanks for that.
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Bachelorism - Day One

Just like in any relationship, our marriage has had its ups and downs. Some of the ups have been especially great, and some of the downs have been really down there. While we’re in a good place now, and have been for a while, there have been times when phrases like “Why am I still here? Your life wouldn’t be any different if I were gone” have been uttered, from both sides.

I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.

Well, as some of you know, my wife flew to London Sunday morning, with three of her friends. They like think of themselves as a Phoenix version of the “Sex in the City” women, except that none of them want to be the slutty one. So I guess that means there are two of another one, but anyway, that’s beside the point.

The point is that I’m on my own for a week. I thought it would be fun to chronicle the adventures of the pseudo-bachelor, someone who hasn’t been truly left to their own devices in so long that it may prove difficult to snap back from the inherent dependency into which marriage plops a person.

Now is when I really see if my life would be different without her. And then on Monday I’ll pick her up at the airport and she’ll have photos and souvenirs and jet lag, but I’ll have the knowledge that yes, my life is entwined with hers, for better or for worse.

Since Sunday was the day she flew out, I’ll start there.
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