FourBux

Life’s funny sometimes. Other times, eh, not so much.

Some of you may know my wife and I have been working lately on purchasing a home. Six months ago we moved into a condominium with the intention of getting in and then getting out. The housing market across the US is dismal; in the Phoenix area the numbers are almost twice the national average, but in the bad way: houses are on the market for twice as long, the prices have dropped at twice the rate as elsewhere, there are tons of people just trying to get out of the market without losing their shirts. The Fed just cut interest rates. Again. Now is a fantastic time for us to buy a home, except for one thing:

We got comfortable.

When we got here I didn’t even want to unpack anything, because I know that it’s much more difficult to get moving again if you’ve come to a stop. Unfortunately, you can’t live without some of the “stuff.” You have to have towels to dry yourself with, plates and utensils to eat with, sheets to sleep in, chairs to sit on. As boxes are unpacked one at a time, it seems less and less like a temporary stop. We’ve gotten to the point that we’re very much settled into our little condo overlooking the pool. Even though our lease expires at the end of this month, there’s no push for us to get out. The owner could care less if we stayed forever. We’re pretty much the perfect tenants, even if I do say so myself.

It occurs to me that we haven’t really taken any steps toward actually purchasing a home. We have been here for six months and while we have paid off some debt, besides some research on the web we haven’t really done anything. Well, we talked to a mortgage guy, but I’m not sure that really qualifies as effort.

Sadly, I’ve begun noticing this trend towards a generally apathetic attitude in our lives. Perhaps flat-out laziness is the better description, at least in my life. My wife has gone back to school and is currently looking for a job. Me? Not so much. I’ve been talking about going back and getting my master’s degree for years now, I mean why not? The company will pay for it. Yet I haven’t done anything but talked about it. I shut down my business in favor of the “safe” world of working for the man. I’ve started hobbies or gotten invested in pastimes only to let them wane once I’ve gotten bored with them. Friends and colleagues that were important to me have just drifted off into their own lives, with the occasional cursory note or email. I’m debating about whether or not I should get involved with the recreation golf league we have at work…but the year-long commitment is too much. It’s recreation for crying out loud, and I’m on the fence. Let’s not even get started on the subject of having children.

It dawns on me that the biggest decision I have to make every day is what to have for lunch, followed by the cliffhanging which shoes to wear to work. To look at it another way, it seems like other people in my stage of life are, I don’t know, dealing with more grown-up things. I have become the guy in the circle of friends that drifts through life, never making any real big mistakes but not making any really big splashes, either.

We all know a “that guy.” I just wasn’t planning on becoming him.

One of the Christmas cards we received last month was from my best friend in college, the best man at my wedding. The picture on the cover of the card was drawn by his oldest child, and inside it contained a photograph of his little family: he and his wife and now, two daughters, playing in their little manicured back yard. I’m extremely jealous.

A married couple of friends have just packed up and moved back to their small town in Kansas, the hectic city life proving to be too much for them. It only took the loss of a job and a nervous breakdown to drive the point home. I’m not so much jealous of this one.

Giving in to pressure from their families, another set of friends moved across the country back to the home state of Ohio. They say it will be better for their children, and while it may be, right now they’re miserable. They just left after a visit with us, and when they got back sent a note: the high temperature was 11 degrees when they got home.

I received an email this morning from a very close friend of mine from school. It was a note telling us that she has been dealing with painful endometriosis for several years, and as a result she has to have a hysterectomy. By mid-February she’ll be through it. The pain will be gone, along with her ability to have children.

All things considered, it seems like we’ve been overtaken by the minutiae of every day life, or given in to it. To quote John Lennon, “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” It seems like making plans has become our life’s happenings.

A long disjointed post to say this: perhaps it’s time for me to stop sitting around talking about doing things and actually start doing them.

Maybe it is for you, too.