Clowns are the new devil.
I forgot it was Halloween.
I was up very late last night working on one of my last freelance projects, and woke up exhausted. The shower didn’t wake me up, and I think I slept through my drive to the coffee shop and most of the transaction. After receiving my coffee from the barista, I turned around and came face to face with a giant clown. Face paint, big red afro, hot-dog stand colored outfit, the whole bit. It scared the crap out of me.
I almost beat him down with my shiny metal travel mug.
It’s not that I’m afraid of clowns mind you, but I really think there should be a rule: If you’re taller than, say, 6′3″, you probably shouldn’t dress up like a clown and stand really close to people who are obviously sleeping in line at the coffee shop.
No one would have blamed me.
As you can see in the dramatic reenactment, he was no match for me. However, in retrospect, I very well could have almost beaten down a Ronald McDonald impersonator, so maybe it’s better this way.
October 31st, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I can’t agree with you more. If you’re really tall, the clown costume is a no-go. I was at my bagel place this morning, and a big gorilla took my order, then handed me my bagel, but before it did it, the gorilla acted like it was going to eat my bagel; then I’d reach for it, and the gorilla would pull it back. The people in line behind me were laughing like it was a joke. I was like, “just give me the damn bagel.” Halloween brings out the weirdest in people working with food or waiting in line for caffeine. I’m not ok with it.
November 1st, 2007 at 10:14 am
Thank you Andrea. Clowns should be reserved for petite people who ride tiny bikes and drive ten of their friends around in tiny cars. Giant clowns are not only not cool, but probably why kids are afraid of them.
And gorillas, too. Good point.
November 1st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Seriously, what is it with Halloween?? It just brings out the “dork??” in people. If clowns weren’t bad enough when it’s not Halloween, just giving them the excuse to go out and be even weirder is irritating and maybe you should have kicked some bozo butt!!!
November 1st, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Listen, all I know is that clowns (tall, small, skinny, fat, black, white, smelly, whatever) are SCARY AS ALL GET OUT!!!
November 1st, 2007 at 7:05 pm
That sketch thing was SO cool! I’ve never seen anything like that before!
I was starting to get really uncomfortable as the giant Ronald head started to take shape in the clip, but I felt a lot better when you smashed his head with the travel mug, and his eyes closed from getting knocked out, haha…awesome
November 1st, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Watch out Romi…SketchFu is addicting. Many an hour has been wasted on that site, and I only have like five pictures.
And I’m glad we could take out the hypothetical clown for you.
November 1st, 2007 at 10:30 pm
And yes, since I made up my imaginary clown-attack retribution, I took some liberties. Such as, I gave myself the parking spot right in front of the door. And, for some reason, Muppet hands.
November 1st, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Joe, I CAN NEVER COME TO YOUR BLOG AGAIN. That picture is why!
Seriously though, out of your last three posts on my feed reader, every headline was a gem. “So I talked to the CIA today”, was my favorite though. Oh, the funny!
Nice haiku, btw.
November 1st, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Hi Amber. Sorry about the clown drama. Seems like more people are afraid of pictures of clowns than there are people afraid of actual ones. Maybe we can get some sort of therapy group rate.
I told myself that I wouldn’t write about anything that was ordinary. I mean, who has time to read about a day that could have just as easily been their own? Since then, I seem to have random and weird crap happen to me, so I don’t seem to have a shortage of subject matter. Although I suppose any of you could have been accosted by a giant clown while in line at your local coffee shop…but probably not.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings. I’m hoping for a run-in with a superhero. Further bulletins will be posted as events warrant.
November 2nd, 2007 at 7:08 am
I read this earlier, but I missed the SketchFu I guess because of the RSS? Another good one very cool to watch.
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:41 am
The dramatic reenactment was a late addition Chuck. I felt that the generic scary clown artwork I had earlier was just too nondescript. FourBux is all about customization.
November 6th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Clowns are pretty creepy if you ask me. I always think of Pennywise from Stephen King’s “It”, or the clown from Clive Barker’s “Dread”
November 7th, 2007 at 6:15 am
The sketchfu isn’t loading for me.
Sad day.
Andrea - I’m sorry to hear about your tramatic bagel incident.
We had a job fair this halloween and one of the recruiters dressed up as a clown. It was kinda funny because job seekers would come out and ask us where the clown was because they wanted to talk to her. This one was short though and not very scary at all. But in general I’m not a fan of clowns. Thanks to Steven King’s IT.
November 7th, 2007 at 6:33 am
It’s funny how such a large percentage of people seem to be afraid of clowns on some level. It makes me wonder if the they are on their way out, voted off the proverbial island through natural selection.
“Ronald, your torch will be extinguished…”
And if the clown picture isn’t loading, you can check it out here.