My Halloween Haiku
I grew up not doing anything for the Halloween, because, you know, that’s the day that Satan and kidnappers are out. At least that’s what I got from my mom. Anyway, now that I’ve grown up and married someone who loves the holiday, I’ve gradually softened to the point of enjoying staying home and handing out candy to the kids. This year, I’m on my own. My wife has a class that night that they won’t let her out for, and since we’re still new in our area, I have no idea how many, if any, children will show up at our door.
Not to leave anything to chance, my wife brought home a huge bag of candy last week so I can be prepared for whatever kids I may get. In honor of the this event, I’ve been inspired to write a haiku:
Still two days, all gone
Ate thirty bucks worth of sweets
Pass the stomach pump
Thank you.
October 29th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
This is one of the most anti-climactic posts I’ve read in a while. Boy is it good.
Thank you.
October 29th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
I’ll need the pump, too
I have three trick-or-treaters
Sugar high for all
Happy Halloweeny, Joe!
October 29th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Thanks Nils. Wish it wasn’t true.
S.A.M. - three trick or treaters? All under one roof?
October 29th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
PUMP….PUMP….Pass!!
October 29th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Nice haiku. We dont have halloweens in India but the Simpsons Halloween marathon on TV makes up for that
October 29th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Funny
October 30th, 2007 at 2:08 am
I grew up doing nothing for Halloween, too, because we just didn’t in Britain back then… or at least, not where I lived.
Hallmark’s marketing department has got to us since, of course, either that or it’s just the 27,000 American Service personnel who live round here having an effect.
Love the haiku!
Cheers
BC
October 30th, 2007 at 2:09 am
PS the more prepared you are, the less kids will turn up, if you have nothing in, there’ll be a solid stream… or at least that’s how it seems to work here!
Cheers (again)
BC
October 30th, 2007 at 7:40 am
BC - I know that’s the case. It’s Murphy’s Law with the variable of children applied. What will probably happen is nobody will show up all night, and as I drop the last mini KitKat into my mouth a bus load of kids will show up. And they’ll either get apples or slices of cheese. We’ll see what I have left.
Thanks Rebecca. Glad you enjoyed it. It was heartfelt. Or heart burn. One of the two.
Welcome Rinchen! Last night I spent more time than I should watching the Simpson’s Halloween specials. That stuff is brilliant.
Welcome Ruby - I don’t know if a stomach pump is something that should be passed around…although I guess it is self-cleaning. Ugh.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:23 am
Just put out a bowl of candy with a sign that says “Take ONE please!”
Yeah, that always works.
Ruby is old.
October 30th, 2007 at 11:43 am
I thought about doing that, only the note would say “please shout ‘trick or treat!’ Thanks.” I would be standing behind my screen door with the lights out and scaring them if they didn’t call out or took more than one.
October 30th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Four, actually, but only three that can say “Trick or Treat”.
October 31st, 2007 at 9:17 am
I’d rather dress up like a demon, maybe a dead child from a Japanese horror movie, and scurry around my darkened carport.
And if I didn’t have a paper to write tonight, I probably would do that.
November 1st, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I actually had a bowl of frozen veggies to hand out one year as a trick. The kids never do anything. They all sort of looked in the bowl and then at me. It was hilarious. Just when they reached a level of real uncomfortness, I pulled out the bowl of the good stuff. Ahhhhhh, tricks or treats.
November 1st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
And, true to form, we had a giant bowl of candy at the ready and we had no trick-or-treaters. Not one. I stayed up until 1:00 packing candy down my throat with a plunger.
Not surprisingly, I woke up with a candy hangover.
As in “I ate so much candy my stomach hangs over my belt”.
Stupid holiday.